Five teachers using a combined 90 years of experience share advice for parents of two - to 5-year-olds. Getting the Best from Your Kid I worry that my 3-year-old, Sophie, has a split personality. At college she cleans up her toys, lays her shoes, and is entirely self-sufficient at potty time. In the home, she yells when I ask her to pick up anything, insists that I join in the bathroom whenever she has to go, and recently has started demanding that I spoon-feed her dinner. Clearly, her instructor understands something that I don't. But then, what parent hasn't sometimes wondered: Why is my kid better for everyone else than for me? The easy answer: Your child tests her limits with you because she trusts you'll love her no matter what. But that doesn't mean that you can't borrow a few strategies from the preschool instructors ' playbook to get the best from the little one. We requested teachers from around the nation for their hints so listen up -- and take notes! .
Warn of transitions
If your son or daughter pitches a fit whenever you announce it's time to change gears --whether that means shutting off the TV, stopping play to come eat, or departing a buddy 's house -- it might be that you simply 're not devoting enough advance notice. At school we let children know when transitions are coming so they have the time to complete whatever they're doing, observes Cohen-Dorfman. In case you need to leave the home at 8:30 a.m., remind your kid at 8:15 she's five more minutes to perform, then will have to cease to put away her toys. Set a timer so she knows when the time is up.
Encourage teamwork.
If your kid is fighting over a toy with another child, set a timer for 5 minutes, suggests Buss. Tell one kid he can have the toy until he hears the buzzer, and then it is going to be another child's turn.
Involve her in righting her wrongs
If you discover her coloring on the walls, have her help clean off it. If she knocks over a playmate's block tower, then ask her to help rebuild it.
Use sticker charts and rewards judiciously
If a kid is working for the benefit, he won't learn the real motives for doing things -- which he must pick up his toys because relatives throw, says Buss. Best bet: Reserve rewards for finite jobs, such as potty training, but prevent offering them for everyday things, like dressing himself or brushing his teeth.
Assign a chore.
Placing your preschooler in charge of a regular, simple task will build her confidence and sense of competency, '' says Buss. A child who's entrusted to water the crops or empty the clothes dryer is likely to think she could additionally get dressed herself or pour her own cereal. Just be sure the job you delegate is manageable and it's real work, not busywork, since even preschoolers understand the difference. The target is to make your kid feel like a capable, contributing member of the family.
Create predictable patterns
Children collaborate in school because they understand what's due to them, says Beth Cohen-Dorfman, instructional coordinator at Chicago's Concordia Avondale Campus preschool. The children follow essentially the exact same routine day after day, and that they quickly learn what they are supposed to be doing, and after a while barely need reminding. While it might be impractical to have the exact same amount of construction at home, the more consistent you are, the more concerted your kid is likely to be, suggests Cohen-Dorfman. Choose a few patterns and stick to them: Everybody gets dressed before breakfast. As soon as we come from outside, we wash our handson. No bedtime stories until all kids are in jammies. Eventually, following these home rules will become second nature for your child.
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